This is not a guy!

May 12, 2009

He makes me feel like I'm wanted, that's why he comes to see me almost everyday. The sight of him fills me with a ray of hope that no matter what happens, no matter how many people hate me or what I turn into, I know he'll always be there for me. He'll look out for me. He keeps me going during the hardest of times. He deals with me when I've done something wrong. He'll just stare at me, expecting me to realize my mistake, as if he has the right to judge me. He'll look at me as if he knows exactly what it is that I've done and wants to punishe me. Sometimes it's too late before I realise that he does know exactly what it is that I've done and I'm already being punished for it.

When I look at him, when he speaks to me, I feel things that I'm afraid would never be. Feelings I don't know how to describe. That voice that whispers sends chills down my back. That's just it, isn't it? That all I need. Someone who gives me chills. That someone who makes the hair on my body stand up. Sometimes there are these feelings that I don't understand. I try to, but I don't.

Have any of you ever had this thing, this touch, an istinct that tells you what your future has in store for you, but yet makes you scared?

Look at him and you can be blank. Just lying on your back, with a cold night's wind in your face, stare at him. You'll be lost in thought about the perfect past that you miss, about your imperfect present and about the future, which for all you know may turn into your worst nightmare or just be what you dreamed of.

So here's what I have to say to you my best friend, my biggest enemy, my love, my worst nightmare, my judge, my counsellor, my everything... Thank you